Oh, yes. I am not going to follow the order I had preordained for myself just a few days ago. I am going to dive into The Night Circus, but put aside the wonderful Liane Moriarty's other novel, What Alice Forgot, at least for now anyway. After Night Circus, I'll have to make my next choices wisely because I just received four new books over the break that I have to pick through and devour as well. I'd also like to get The Hunger Games sooner rather than later, so the fifth "Game of Thrones" book might just have to wait longer than I had anticipated. But we'll see.
I don't want my break to end ... I really truly do not. I read more than I have in months, I was able to relax a bit, and I was so happy back in Minnesota with my family and my nephew in particular. Having not seen my nephew in 10 months, I was simply dying to see him, and he has grown so much that it's hard to believe he's the same baby I first saw in July of 2012 over a too-short respite from Teach For America's Summer Institute in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Teaching has taught me how important it is that we teach our children to love books. To love reading is to open up doors for our children that will provide them with a better ability to succeed and excel in school, have a wide imagination, and to know that as with books ... anything is possible. Unfortunately, I don't feel right now that teaching is the career I was meant to stick with. I want to incite a love of literature in children, but perhaps I need to do that in my own way. Teaching is too troubled a profession for me to be able to stick with it for the rest of my life, but I feel the need to congratulate and admire those who do stick with the teaching profession. Our children need you. My family needs me more back in Minnesota, and my own growing family (Scott and Ike) need me to be a sane and loving woman, instead of the frustrated mess I become when I look at the state of our education system. I will never stop fighting for more educational equality for our kids, but there are other capacities in which I can do that and play a more fitting role for myself. Then again, who knows? By the end of May, perhaps these past few months won't seem so daunting and I'll have a renewed energy to stay in the classroom, but ultimately I have to be the best me to be the best teacher for them. If I can't be that, I'll choose another career. I won't be less than the best for my kids. Some of my interests have expanded to looking into counseling careers - still working in a school setting, but in a different capacity - turning to social work like Scott, or perhaps getting back into children's theater, but this time as a director instead of an actor. We'll see what the future holds ... and like my last book taught me, we can't always know the secrets our lives hold (even though it'd be really helpful in my case).
Keep reading, keep breathing, keep calm and carry on. Love you all. And I'll keep you updated on my ever-expanding book pile.
No comments:
Post a Comment